Post- Holiday Stress & the Emotional Come-Down: A BCBA Perspective
The holidays often arrive with sparkle, anticipation, and a flurry of routines turned upside down. For many children both with and without Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) the weeks following the holidays can bring an emotional and behavioral “come-down.” As a BCBA, I often hear families say, “Everything was going so well… and now it feels hard again.” This experience is common, understandable, and most importantly, manageable.
Below, I’ll share why post-holiday stress happens, what it can look like across children, and how caregivers can support regulation and resilience during this transition.
Why the Post-Holiday Come-Down Happens
From a behavioral lens, the holidays create a perfect storm of changes:
Disrupted routines: Bedtimes, mealtimes, school schedules, and therapy sessions often shift.
Increased stimulation: Decorations, crowds, noise, travel, and social demands increase sensory and emotional load.
High reinforcement density: Gifts, treats, attention, and novel experiences are abundant.
Anticipation followed by loss: Children spend weeks anticipating events that suddenly end.
When January arrives, reinforcement thins out, expectations return, and structure ramps back up all at once. For a child’s nervous system, this can feel abrupt and overwhelming.
What This Can Look Like in Children
Post-holiday stress doesn’t look the same for every child. Common signs include:
Increased irritability or emotional sensitivity
Difficulty transitioning back to school or childcare
Regression in skills (sleep, toileting, communication, independence)
Increased meltdowns, shutdowns, or avoidance behaviors
Heightened anxiety or clinginess
Decreased motivation for tasks that were previously manageable
For children with ASD, these responses may be more intense or longer lasting due to differences in sensory processing, executive functioning, and flexibility. While children with ASD may experience these challenges more intensely or for a longer duration, neurotypical children can exhibit the same patterns of behavior during post-holiday transitions.
A BCBA Reframe: Behavior Is Communication
From an ABA perspective, behavior tells us something important: a child is having difficulty meeting the demands of their environment with the skills they currently have.
Post-holiday behaviors are not signs of manipulation, defiance, or failure. They are signals that:
Expectations increased faster than coping skills
Reinforcement decreased too suddenly
Predictability and control were lost
When we shift from “What’s wrong?” to “What’s being communicated?” our response becomes more compassionate and effective.
Practical Strategies to Support the Transition
1. Rebuild Structure Gradually
Rather than snapping back to a full schedule, reintroduce routines in layers:
Start with consistent sleep and wake times
Add visual schedules or written plans
Clearly preview changes and expectations
Predictability reduces anxiety for all children, especially those with ASD.
2. Increase Reinforcement Intentionally
After weeks of high reinforcement, motivation may dip. This is not laziness, it’s contrast.
Pair demands with preferred activities
Offer extra praise for effort, not just outcomes
Build in small, predictable “wins” each day
Think of reinforcement as fuel during the transition, not a reward to be earned back.
3. Validate the Emotional Experience
Children may not have the language to say, “I miss the excitement” or “This feels hard.”
Try:
“The holidays were really fun, and it’s hard when fun things end.”
“Your body is getting used to the routine again.”
Validation does not reinforce distress, it supports regulation.
4. Watch for Sensory and Regulation Needs
Post-holiday stress often shows up physically:
Increased need for movement
Sensitivity to noise or demands
Fatigue or dysregulation late in the day
Proactively schedule:
Movement breaks
Quiet time
Sensory supports (deep pressure, calming music, fidgets)
5. Adjust Expectations Temporarily
Progress is not linear. A short-term increase in support does not mean long-term regression.
It’s okay to:
Offer more prompts
Shorten tasks
Reduce nonessential demands
Meeting children where they are now helps them return to baseline faster.
A Note for Caregivers
Caregivers experience post-holiday stress too. Returning to work, finances, and daily responsibilities while supporting a dysregulated child can feel exhausting.
Gentle reminder: You are not doing anything wrong. Transitions are hard, and supporting regulation, yours and your child’s, is meaningful work.
Moving Forward
The post-holiday come-down is temporary. With structure, compassion, and intentional support, children regain balance and often emerge with stronger coping skills.
From a BCBA perspective, these moments are not setbacks. They are opportunities to teach flexibility, emotional awareness, and resilience in real life.
If challenges persist beyond a few weeks or significantly impact daily functioning, consider reaching out to a professional for additional support. Early, proactive adjustments make a powerful difference.